Do you ever just stop and think ‘woah, where am I heading in life’? It’s becoming more and more frequent for me at the moment, and sometimes I just need to let it all out and get some much needed head space. I’ve taken four weeks off my blog. My blog that I have carefully curated and nurtured for nearly four years. After Christmas, where I was under immense pressure to get so many products featured, I knew that taking some time out would be good for me, and my mental state. No pressure, no stress, no crying into my pillow because I had a deadline I didn’t think that I was going to meet because I’d been called out. It’s been pure bliss to have this head space and to be able to breathe. Life is really too short to stress, so 2017 is going to be YOLO. Or, ROLO if I carry on eating sweets like am doing. You only live once. Yes, you do. Facing each moment head on, tackling those things that haven’t made me happy, and changing things in my life to suit me and not others. Being spontaneous and a little bit crazy, grabbing life by the balls. If I want it, get it – I work hard enough to justify it.
My goal for 2017 is to create a happy space around me, and first on the list is updating my home. I’ve lived here for nine years now and although I love it, I needs a juhz and a lick of paint. I’m a single gal, but you know what – I can decorate, I can paint, I can gloss and I can wallpaper. With some help of course, but I can do it. My first project has been my spare room which is well on it’s way to becoming a tranquil space of blush pink, pale grey and copper hues that is giving me deep joy every time I walk past it. The next on my list is the lounge. Again, fresh paint and some fancy wallpaper will make all the difference, and I’m so tempted to splash out on a fancy Panasonic 4K TV because I deserve it.
Spontaneity is heading up high on my list of goals. I need to turn ‘I can’t’ into ‘I can’. So many times have I stayed in, inside the comfort of my home and then backed out of events and meet ups because a small attack of social anxiety hits me, or I decide that it’s too cold outside. I am full of excuses and I need to stop it. It’s the year of the yes, and yes I am doing it. What is spontaneity? Does booking a flight to the other side of the world, on your own, class as being spontaneous? Well, I think so. Nervous as hell, doubting myself to the max yet feeling proud as punch that I’ve arranged flights, hotels, transfers and spending money for Sephora in just a few months. If I can do this, I can do anything.
Rather than having target based goals to achieve, my ultimate goal in life is to be happy. After struggling with mental health for several months, I’m finally in a place where I can step back and take stock of the situation and deal with things appropriately rather than sweating the small stuff. Being of a logical mind, analysing every little thing was creating problems rather than solutions and i’m not one to shrug things off with a f*ck it kind of outlook, so instead I am to not carry the world on my shoulders. It’s not worth it.
You only live once can be misconstrued into thinking that a wild and hedonistic lifestyle is the way forward, but to me it’s more about taking what life has to throw at you and turning it into something special. Follow your dreams, and what your heart is telling you, but still making sensible decisions in your head. Don’t be afraid, be brave. Earn it and spend it how you like, it’s yours. Stop justifying why you can’t, and embrace why you can. Staying in because it’s cold? Wrap up warm and stop being soft. I, as an adult, still have a lot to learn, but I will get there. I have to, because you only live once. Make it a great one.